Desire is fire, and playing with fire is always dangerous. The formula of spiritual life is always very simple. Simplify the life, and withdraw as much as possible, if not totally, from desire. Seek enlightenment. You are trying to strip down the impressions that you are generating, because at the moment of death everything surges in. The reason you meditate every day of your life is so that at the moment of your death you will be able to concentrate and arise as an enlightened being. If you’re acting one way on the outside and you have all these secret desires on the inside, those secret desires will not be secret at the time of death, they will have their play. The idea of spiritual training in life is facing this condition with very clear eyes. That’s what’s implicit in spiritual training. You can see this in people who have gone through enough incarnations that they have begun to spot the pattern, and are interested in an alternative.