We tend to act in fixed patterns. If we act one way at one time, when we’re faced with a similar condition the next time that similarity will be recognized by the karmic data stored within our system, and we’ll act in some variation of that same behavior. This happens because we haven’t really thought about it. It’s a habit.
The entire point of spiritual life, the entire point of the transmission of Shaktipat, the entire point of hanging out around gurus, is to gain access to a new source of light outside of the system of our own karma that offsets the force of these habitual patterns of behavior, both emotionally and psychologically.
The massive amount of light injected into your system knocks these things loose and changes your relationship to them so that you can engage and observe the habitual patterns of your behavior and come to recognize them for what they are.